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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?